Though my goal is to post a new article once a week, as I began writing my last one in honor of my daughter being invaluable, my son’s unique but equally important role was simultaneously on my mind.
He was the one to make me a mom. He was the one with who I fell head over heels in love from day one. The daily heartburn indicator paled compared to his head full of jet black hair. And when he looked at me and blinked his little eyes, it was like shiny stars.
He missed arriving on Valentine’s Day by just a few days but was most certainly my love baby. He looked like the tiniest thing in that car seat when two inexperienced parents fastened him in to head home on a windy, freezing February day. When we arrived home, he and I snuggled up on the couch while my husband cooked pork chops. Before the evening ended, tears slid down my husband’s face in the overwhelming awe we were of our first baby. He had us both wrapped tightly from day one.
He was a sweet and ornery combination of a perfect toddler. He was very bright and did everything earlier than the books indicated he might. His sense of humor was a delight, and he was constantly entertaining his grandma, aunts, and me. He was a complete charmer and cute as he could be—quite the little lady’s man. From the time he knew what friendship was, he created life-long friendships. His best buddies today were his childhood friends.
From around age three to five, he was Batman. I know many little guys go through that phase. But Jake took it to a whole other level. He wore his costume to stores, out to eat, and basically as his clothing. When his preschool did a play, they assigned him the role of a basketball player. We had to have a little conference about his unwillingness to take off his Batman cape. Before it was over, he warmed the teachers up to the idea of being a basketball player with a Batman cape. True to the character, when he was not Batman, he had a double-breasted suit and was none other than Bruce Wayne.
He became acquainted with cars, trucks, and hot rods very early. As soon as he could, he was doing everything possible to mimic his daddy. He loved to pass the time standing in the driver’s seat of our vehicles pretending to drive. We were right beside him. But once he inserted and turned the key in the ignition and it started, I’m unsure if he was even two yet.
He quickly learned the importance of his dad’s show car, a ’70 Boss Mustang. He got a spanking that rarely happened when he grabbed a can of spray paint and thought he’d give the Boss a bit more color. The paint was wiped quickly away and forgotten. A Wal-mart trip followed a quick seat dusting. Then the new Buzz Light Year showed up to live at our house.
His dad and I laughed about a minor Deja Vu incident recently. Just this past week, our three-year-old grandson Hudson went to lunch with his Daddy and Pa and supposedly was a bit naughty. He got a little spanking outside the restaurant. No Buzz for Hud, but instead of him going home after lunch like usual, he was allowed to go and spend the day at the body shop with the big boys.
Every day of preschool, he and his dad took off in a blue ’87 Chevy. After a quick Hardees stop, his dad dropped him at preschool. Fast forward to his 16th birthday, and ‘Ole Blue, with all its Hardee’s stains, rust, and memories, became Jacob’s prized possession. Today it is his show truck. I sure hope the spray paint’s not out for Hud’s curious tendencies because like his Nanee, he prefers black vehicles. Our Hallie Joy is just as likely to experiment with this, as well.
Jake, his buddies, his dad, and even his girlfriend (now wife) were all part of the restoration process of ‘Ole Blue. Perfect paint, a new motor, and shiny wheels later, he has won several trophies and constantly updates something to improve it. It holds memories that only a man and his little shadow can completely recall.
In reflection of these childhood experiences, it is no wonder that he wanted to turn a hobby into a career after graduation. His dad and I initially wanted him to do something else. We understood the challenges and the ups and downs of owning your a business, or as I often say, basically having a second household and a whole other set of bills. I fretted about the relationship roles. Boss/dad and son/worker. They had always been so close. How would this work?
But it happened, and both grew in unique ways. They learned from one another. They worked side by side, day in and day out, for years. There were disagreements. If Darran complained, I said defensively, “That is my son, don’t tell me,” and if Jake told me something, I said just as defensively, “That is my husband, don’t tell me.” I stressed over it more than they probably have. Darran created a solid foundation for the body shop. Jacob has added skills he initially learned from his dad and an easily likable personality.
In July 2019, both our families stood and watched the business burn. A few months later, my husband took a month away. Jacob kept working the business from a space offered by a good friend next door to the shop. During that period, he unknowingly was being prepared for the role none of us knew he would need to step into very shortly. Then later that year, his dad was diagnosed with cancer.
As the new building was coming together, my husband had to start going to doctors to find out why he was hoarse and losing his voice little by little. Jacob never missed a beat. He covered all he needed to do without complaint. Initially, long-time regular customers were insistent on talking to his dad. Jacob was frustrated but patient with them. In the end, he won them over.
Radiation, hospital stays, treatments, and needed recovery were not what any of us had planned. But as they occurred, Jacob stepped up. He did the estimates, talked with customers, made appointments, did bodywork, painted cars, ordered parts, and paid bills. He took in money enough to pay our other worker, himself, and keep money coming to us even as Darran could not work.
Today as his dad is still in treatment but doing well, Jacob continues his prime role. His dad now goes in and works at his own pace. He has always been a work-a-holic so finding time to restore his old cars was never previously possible. He was always taking care of customers. Finally, he enjoys the new shop on different and more enjoyable terms. He could not do this without our son stepping up and doing an incredible job running the business for us.
I’m guessing that most moms struggle with looking at their son as a man. Jacob’s gone through many transitions that are considered a rite of passage: graduating, getting married, becoming a daddy twice, but honestly, I still held on to him as my little boy. Recently, as he has stepped into and embraced this newest role, I am confronted with the truth that only a man stands in my little boy’s shadow. He’s a man I am proud of and appreciate beyond words. He’s a man that may no longer be a boy but is still our son and continues to be one of our best blessings.
Hoping you find a place in my space. ♥
Reflection Question:
What occurred to help you realize your son had turned into a man?